Sexual Education Workshops

A series of sexual education workshops were recently hosted by Kerri Isham, a sexual health educator working in the Nanaimo region. Each workshop had a focus on specific grade levels, namely K-3, 4-7 and 8-10. I cannot underestimate the value of these workshops as sexual health education has an importance that far outweighs its primary function as a means of disseminating sexual health information. Sexual health education has the tendency to be very polarizing but hopefully the information below will help to indicate its importance. I have collected some pertinent notes below, both about how and what to teach, and also concerning the purposes of doing so. Apologies for the length of this post!

For other student teachers, feel free to contact me as I am happy to pass on other pertinent information to you. Also, for Nanaimo student teachers specifically, Kerri is happy to be contacted, and has book lists for teaching various sexual health topics, and also has a sample letter to mail out to parents/guardians informing them of your intent to teach sexual health education.


The primary purposes of sexual health education are to teach:
1 - ownership of the body and abuse prevention
2 - health
3 - comfort and preparedness for the changes that puberty and sexual development brings
4 - knowledge of the sexual diversity of people, both physically and mentally


1 - Ownership of the body and abuse prevention

Teaching children from a very young age that "no means no" instills in them an awareness of the possibility of abuse and a greater sense of ownership of their body. Having this solid foundation at such an early age can really only be positive. It is important to note that some children who are being abused have no concept of this fact. Only by teaching them right and wrong can they actually ascertain that they are being abused.

Understanding of their own body can also help children to identify, specifically, aspects of possible abuse, and lends credence to their allegations. Conversely, it can also be used to quash unfounded allegations as children are able to explicitly explain that they understand what sexual abuse is and that it is not happening to them.

Pictures, for younger children, help to illustrate where it is acceptable to touch themselves. These can define the differences between private and public areas, such as the classroom, doctor's office, bathroom, etc.

Masturbation is a term used from Grade 4 onwards. It is normally described to the student as self-pleasure, or touching yourself. It is important to teach that this is a natural part of life, and that they have no reason to be ashamed of doing it. Teaching information such as this means that the child is much more likely to lead an open, healthy, and fulfilling sexual life.

Potential indicators of abuse

As much as we wish it weren't so, abuse is a serious problem facing many of our children. As teachers, the onus is on us to spot the warning signs. We have an obligation to our students to do the best we can for them, on every possible level. It is important to remember that many of these signs MAY indicate abuse, and could just as easily have an entirely innocent explanation:

- If kids aren't comfortable talking about sexual health, this could be an indicator of abuse
- Children being obsessed with private parts may be an abuse indicator
- Drawing sexual parts on only male or only female pictures or models can be an indicator of abuse, especially if the sexual parts are large. The first step is to express interest and ask them about their drawing. If they express anxiety in talking about it, this could signify abuse. However, an innocuous reason could be that they shower with only one parent and are simply drawing what they see on a regular basis
- Children from K-3 trying to engage in sex is a huge red flag, although again this could be innocuous. They could be trying to act out what they saw from pornography, or copying what they saw their parents doing, and acting it out to try to process it
- Children can project their abuse onto others, through inappropriate behaviour, or by spreading rumours about sexual abuse of their friends/classmates
- Most children like seeing physical content, especially hugging. Children who react very negatively when they hugging could possibly be abused

Schools have procedural guidelines for child abuse and neglect. Keep them handy and ALWAYS go to the principal first before taking any action yourself.


2 - Health

Knowledge of sexual health, sex itself, and appropriate sexual behaviour can teach children from a young age to have healthy sexual boundaries. For parents, it is also a way to teach your children your own values concerning sex. Many people assume that sexual health educators are promiscuous and carefree when it comes to sex, but the opposite is often true. They have seen the negative side in unhealthy sexual relationships, abuse and STDs and want to teach people how to be sexual beings in a responsible fashion.

With knowledge of what the genitals are, we can teach children the importance of washing hands after touching themselves.

With pubic hair, we teach that "we do not use anything sharp near the genitals for fear of this [mimes cutting the penis off]. Oops!" Children see that their parents and people in pornography shave, and naturally then want to do so themselves. We tell them that pubic hair is very useful for emitting pheromones to attract a partner, and also as cushioning for sexual intercourse. This lesson also shows us that it is important to keep our teaching fun and lighthearted, rather than using sexual health education as an opportunity to scare students.

Most girls don't understand that urine comes from the urethra. This knowledge makes them more able to identify UTIs and other ailments.

In the BC 2013 Adolescent Health Survey, only 69% of students used condoms when they last had sex, and 24% used alcohol or drugs.


3 - Comfort and preparedness for the changes that puberty and sexual development brings

Teaching about changes in the body from an early age means that the child will be well-versed in what is to happen to them and will not be afraid when changes happen. This level of comfort also means that children know what is happening to them is no secret and they will be more able to discuss it with others. Also, children will discuss the correct information, as opposed to mythical information shared by uninformed or misinformed peers.

Knowing about their own body also helps with detection and explanation of injury to the private parts, and studies have shown that this means people are more likely to seek medical help as an adult.

Girls begin puberty between the ages of 8 and 10, and boys between 10 and 12. Girls of African descent can often start 2 years earlier. This means that a girl could be 6 years old and beginning puberty. It is best to start teaching puberty in Grade 2 or 3, but most schools start in Grade 4.

The testicles increase in size before the penis does. The penis continues growing until age 17 or 18. Average flaccid adult penis length is 1 inch. This is important information to share with the boys in the class who will doubtless experience fear or shame due to the size of their genitals.

YouTube's "Different is Normal" video shows that any kind of genitals, just like varying body shapes, types and sizes, are normal.


4 - Knowledge of the sexual diversity of people, both physically and mentally

Children are so much more open to the sexual diversity of others, especially at younger ages, before adults have foisted their own beliefs on to them. This is an important time where we can appropriately teach children a proper awareness of, and respect for, sexual diversity.

When talking about having a baby, you can also talk about children who have two mums or two dads.

Transsexuals/transgenders: Many children, from a very young age, are overtly aware of the fact that they feel male but are trapped in a female body, and vice versa. In fact, studies in BC indicate that around 1% of the student populace feel this way. As suicide, depression, anxiety, OCD, anger and violence can result from the frustration being in such a position causes, it is imperative that a teacher takes the time to fully inform their students of the sexual diversity that exists in the world. Transsexual youth are far more likely to attempt suicide than any other social grouping.
- Transsexuals or those unsure of themselves can take drugs to block puberty, giving them time to consider their options. These drugs can often be taken from age 13 to 16. Puberty can be an incredibly difficult time for transsexuals, and it is our job as teachers to make our students feel as comfortable as we can.

We need to teach that gender is fluid, and relies on a wide variety of characteristics. Not everyone is the same. Students to understand that different is normal. In the same way, sexuality is unique to the individual, and relies on numerous variables such as dress, how one views oneself, education, religion, gender, sex and experience. Also, there are many people who are intersex, that is, they have genitalia that cannot be described as either truly male or truly female.

In the BC 2013 Adolescent Health Survey, 19% of students identified as non-heterosexual. Cyberbullying provides a large forum for students to attack others for being "different," and is most commonly used by 14 year olds.


Notes about teaching sexual health education

To save future headaches, a good practice is to send a letter to parents/guardians at the beginning of September (the new school year), warning them that you are going to be giving sex ed lessons. Otherwise, parents/guardians often have vociferous, and deeply negative, reactions when they learn their child has been taught this information without them first being informed.

People who are more open talking to their family and friends are far more likely to delay having sex.

Sexual education does not increase the incidence of sexual activity.

If parents talk to their children about sexual health, it significantly reduces incidences of pregnancy, HIV and other STIs.

It helps to start with easier, and less contentious, topics. This helps you to gain trust with the parents/guardians. Another way to gain trust is by inviting parents for a workshop themselves, to see what you will teach and why.

Some parents, usually around one in every 100, do not want their children to receive sexual health education. Reasons include:
- There is a secret at home, perhaps sexual abuse
- They want to teach it themselves (a good way of passing on their own sexual values)
- They have been abused themselves and want to 'protect' their children from learning about anything to do with sexual health
- Religious reasons

Kids will listen, especially since sexual health education feels "taboo," but they will likely remember only some of what you tell them, so repetition is key.

Male teachers can be afraid to teach sexual health education because of societal norms. Many male teachers ask a female adult to be in the room with them at the same time. It is important to remember that, as teachers, the onus is on us to change perceptions.

Never separate boys and girls when teaching them sexual health education. This can make them seem weird and alien to each other, and also does nothing to allay misconceptions about the opposite sex.

A good way for students to learn is to ask them to draw the internal and external genitalia.

Excellent HIV/AIDS website: teachaids.org
Laci Green's (a sexual education activist) Facebook page has lots of useful information and links, as does her YouTube page.

Other aspects of sexual education that have been identified as useful and should be taught are:
- Self-esteem and resilience (being happy with who you are)
- Self-presentation (the sexualization of children)
- The interconnection of facets of sexual education (the bigger picture, rather than compartmentalizing each aspect)
- Much is taught about STIs (I didn't go to school in Canada so can't incorporate my personal view, but the workshops' attendees believed they were taught so much about STIs that it was at the expense of other information)

Not strictly related to sexual education, but statistics worth mentioning are: In the BC 2013 Adolescent Health Survey, 17% of girls stated they had considered suicide, and 9% had attempted it. 8% of boys considered suicide, and 3% attempted it. 22% of girls have self-harmed or continue to do so. 50% of students polled had less than 8 hours sleep a night. When we understand as much as we can about the backgrounds and motivations of our students, the more we can tailor our teaching to help them.

Again, my apologies for the length of this post. Hopefully some of what I have written will strike a chord with you, and will demonstrate the importance of teaching sexual health education. It is in the curriculum, accounting for 5% of teaching time, and there are specific learning outcomes for each grade level. Information is everywhere, and it is our duty to ensure we are armed with the knowledge to make a positive difference in the lives of every one of our students, in the present and in the future.

First School Observation

Having just had my first school observation as part of my teaching degree, I wanted to record the notes I took about the good classroom practices I witnessed in a Grade 1/2 classroom. For reasons of professionalism, I won't include the name of the school here, nor will I name the teachers I spoke to or the children I (hope I!) helped.

- As the students entered, the teacher asked them to come from an "outside voice to a soft inside voice"
- The teacher asked some students about the importance of personal space, and also asked students who were acting out if they were "modelling positive [/expected] behaviour." This put the onus on the student to correct their behaviour as opposed to sounding as if the teacher was telling them off
- Asking the students to come up to the board or overhead projector to help makes them feel special
- The teacher repeatedly told the students that they were awesome; this surely gives them confidence
- Having the students (with the aid of a partner) take attendance makes them feel important
- Clear, simple instructions were confirmed by asking questions
- The teacher was honest with the students and did not baby them
- Students who finished early and tidied their area from an activity were asked to help others tidy up, fostering teamwork
- Students who were using good strategies or who had produced particularly good results had their work praised and shown to the class
- Ringing a bell was used, along with verbal instruction and physical movement, to show students what to do next; this removes ambiguity and breeds routine
- A special helper of the day assisted the teacher with her work and gives the children greater control over their education
- Having the students stretch at certain times, along with the use of movement, gesticulation and repetition helped to conform to different learning styles and keep the students focused
- Magnetic name tags that students put in a circle when they use the bathroom helps to keep an eye on where students are
- A traffic light system for behaviour helps students to be mindful of their behaviour and gives them a greater sense of responsibility; one child who got to red was asked to sit at his desk for a little while in order to calm down and focus
- If a student attempted to answer a question but was wrong, they were told "Good try, but would you like to ask a buddy?" I believe that such an answer would make them unafraid of failure
- A jar of lolly sticks with the students' names on provides a completely unbiased way of choosing students to call on
- The use of a little song when the students became distracted helped to focus them back on to the task at hand; "1, 2, 3, eyes on me" was answered by "1, 2, eyes on you," and repeated until all of the students were taking part in the song
- Students were asked to discuss certain questions with their "shoulder buddy;" this clear direction means that they won't just seek out their friends
- One student brings an item for show and tell each day, and has the other students ask focused questions about the item, followed by guesses, before the item is revealed. This creates excitement and helps to keep the students focused
- To teach the date, day and month, the teacher uses a whiteboard with certain letters missing, to tell a little story concerning the time of year, such as fall, and this was also accompanied by a song with actions, to directly involve the students in the activity

Overall, I had an exciting morning observing and helping out in the classroom. I am left with a feeling of thankfulness because --
a) I still have the opportunity to try something new and varied at this stage of my life;
b) I had a fantastic time and feel lucky to have been given the opportunity to take part in the observation;
c) All being well, this will be my career!